Well, I'm the person in question that suggested evidence should be presented before Adam be accused of domestic violence.
There's several reasons why I feel the topic is worth defending, and I'm not gonna lie, preventing Adam's character from being further tainted is one of them. But also among them is retaining the integrity of the term "domestic violence".
Domestic violence is a very serious thing that occurs far too often in society. There's no doubt about it. It should be taken seriously and excuses should not be made for people who commit it.
What I reacted to, however, was (paraka retweeting) shshpd tweeting the following:
Honestly, the way some people are minimizing this... it's so typical of the way DV is often minimized. "They were just wrestling..."...
... "We're laughing about it now..." "He hit her 'accidentally' when she tried to intervene." "Love is hard." It all disturbs me.
I realize we don't really know what actually happened, but I find the language disturbing.
The "some people" being quoted here are, originally, Adam, Sauli, and their friends who were eyewitnesses. Thus, the insinuation is that these people are "minimizing domestic violence" with their choice of words.
Now, I wasn't with these people either, so I certainly can't claim to know what actually happened. But as someone who followed the story reasonably closely this morning, the consistent points in the story have been as follows: Adam and Sauli got in a verbal argument while (very) drunk. The argument got somewhat physical ("wrestling", whatever that means. All non-tabloid parties - including the police - say no punches were thrown. I'm of the opinion this translates to pushing/pulling/shoving). A friend attempted to get between them and was struck by Adam. She states that it was accidental and incidental, and there's been nothing to contradict that statement. Given the nature of drunken arguments and the amount of flailing that can be involved, I see no reason to disbelieve her. She's Sauli's friend's girlfriend, and of those present has the least reason to side with Adam if choosing sides were necessary. The police arrived, Adam and Sauli were separated, held for a few hours (to sober up, I imagine), questioned and released.
No punches were thrown, no injuries were reported, and no charges were filed.
This does not at all, in my opinion, fit a criteria of domestic violence.
As a result, I don't believe their descriptions of the events are "minimizing domestic violence." That is because this is not an example of domestic violence, nor do I want to see this painted as such. First, it takes away from what domestic violence actually *is*. Second, it saddles Adam with a reputation as a systematic abuser which, to all evidence, couldn't be further from the truth.
Now, Adam and Sauli's behavior was irresponsible, they've clearly got some stuff to work through, they should be held accountable for any and all wrong they've done. Hopefully they'll learn from this experience and behave more responsibly in the future. They shouldn't get a free pass from the media. But it appears like all of that is happening. And I see no need to add to the embarrassment by painting Adam with a reputation he doesn't deserve, especially when it would distract and detract from true cases of domestic abuse (Chris Brown, anybody?).
That said, I don't wish to discourage awareness of domestic violence or foster any kind of societal immunity to it. But this began as a Twitter conversation, and my interest was/is in not seeing Adam portrayed as an abuser that he isn't under the guise of furthering a social awareness of said abuse. That hurts ADAM, and by extension, Sauli. Two real people who did something stupid, but don't deserve to be labeled as abuser/victim by the media or the fanbase when it truly doesn't seem to apply.
Oh - had to leave in the middle of composing this and came back to see the ETA. Part of why I also reacted the way I did is because I had all this information, with the exception of Adam's latest tweet (copied in the ETA), by the time said RT's were on my feed. I'd already watched the dust settle and parsed out what was exaggeration and what was not. All that information was available. Which is why I had no problem saying that these concerns about domestic violence did not apply to Adam and Sauli's case, and disliked that someone would suggest as much.
no subject
There's several reasons why I feel the topic is worth defending, and I'm not gonna lie, preventing Adam's character from being further tainted is one of them. But also among them is retaining the integrity of the term "domestic violence".
Domestic violence is a very serious thing that occurs far too often in society. There's no doubt about it. It should be taken seriously and excuses should not be made for people who commit it.
What I reacted to, however, was (
Honestly, the way some people are minimizing this... it's so typical of the way DV is often minimized. "They were just wrestling..."...
... "We're laughing about it now..." "He hit her 'accidentally' when she tried to intervene." "Love is hard." It all disturbs me.
I realize we don't really know what actually happened, but I find the language disturbing.
The "some people" being quoted here are, originally, Adam, Sauli, and their friends who were eyewitnesses. Thus, the insinuation is that these people are "minimizing domestic violence" with their choice of words.
Now, I wasn't with these people either, so I certainly can't claim to know what actually happened. But as someone who followed the story reasonably closely this morning, the consistent points in the story have been as follows: Adam and Sauli got in a verbal argument while (very) drunk. The argument got somewhat physical ("wrestling", whatever that means. All non-tabloid parties - including the police - say no punches were thrown. I'm of the opinion this translates to pushing/pulling/shoving). A friend attempted to get between them and was struck by Adam. She states that it was accidental and incidental, and there's been nothing to contradict that statement. Given the nature of drunken arguments and the amount of flailing that can be involved, I see no reason to disbelieve her. She's Sauli's friend's girlfriend, and of those present has the least reason to side with Adam if choosing sides were necessary. The police arrived, Adam and Sauli were separated, held for a few hours (to sober up, I imagine), questioned and released.
No punches were thrown, no injuries were reported, and no charges were filed.
This does not at all, in my opinion, fit a criteria of domestic violence.
As a result, I don't believe their descriptions of the events are "minimizing domestic violence." That is because this is not an example of domestic violence, nor do I want to see this painted as such. First, it takes away from what domestic violence actually *is*. Second, it saddles Adam with a reputation as a systematic abuser which, to all evidence, couldn't be further from the truth.
Now, Adam and Sauli's behavior was irresponsible, they've clearly got some stuff to work through, they should be held accountable for any and all wrong they've done. Hopefully they'll learn from this experience and behave more responsibly in the future. They shouldn't get a free pass from the media. But it appears like all of that is happening. And I see no need to add to the embarrassment by painting Adam with a reputation he doesn't deserve, especially when it would distract and detract from true cases of domestic abuse (Chris Brown, anybody?).
That said, I don't wish to discourage awareness of domestic violence or foster any kind of societal immunity to it. But this began as a Twitter conversation, and my interest was/is in not seeing Adam portrayed as an abuser that he isn't under the guise of furthering a social awareness of said abuse. That hurts ADAM, and by extension, Sauli. Two real people who did something stupid, but don't deserve to be labeled as abuser/victim by the media or the fanbase when it truly doesn't seem to apply.
Oh - had to leave in the middle of composing this and came back to see the ETA. Part of why I also reacted the way I did is because I had all this information, with the exception of Adam's latest tweet (copied in the ETA), by the time said RT's were on my feed. I'd already watched the dust settle and parsed out what was exaggeration and what was not. All that information was available. Which is why I had no problem saying that these concerns about domestic violence did not apply to Adam and Sauli's case, and disliked that someone would suggest as much.