![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
So....
Anyone here know how hard it is to become a hermit? Because I'm seriously considering it.
It's got to be better to consciously decide to be alone, and never expect anyone rather than expect people and be disappointed and hurt by it.
I'm the type of person who's nice. I go out of my way to help people and try and be nice, but I really have to think about changing all that, because I put other peoples needs before mine, and really, sometimes that just comes back to bite you in the ass. I try to be there, and be understanding, and make sure that everyone is happy, even if it puts me out and then I end up with second best, or if I do try and get what I want I end up alone.
God I spent half the evening mentally writing this post; in great detail. Now I'm just to upset and tiered, and wow, still have things for other people to get done, so don't really have time. So instead you get this vague cranky post.
It's got to be better to consciously decide to be alone, and never expect anyone rather than expect people and be disappointed and hurt by it.
I'm the type of person who's nice. I go out of my way to help people and try and be nice, but I really have to think about changing all that, because I put other peoples needs before mine, and really, sometimes that just comes back to bite you in the ass. I try to be there, and be understanding, and make sure that everyone is happy, even if it puts me out and then I end up with second best, or if I do try and get what I want I end up alone.
God I spent half the evening mentally writing this post; in great detail. Now I'm just to upset and tiered, and wow, still have things for other people to get done, so don't really have time. So instead you get this vague cranky post.
no subject
You do realise you are allowed to say 'no' sometimes? That it isn't selfish to take care of yourself? That, if you fell over tomorrow, someone else could step in (okay, they'd need training if it's at work, and they wouldn't be you)? So what do you gain by knocking yourself over?
Maybe because I'm a pragmatist, which is probably because I'm the only girl amongst 4 brothers, and what with being one of the three of us who is disabled - but I learned at a very early age that if I don't look out for myself first, I won't be able to be there for others. So many women have been taught to look at this the other way around. Which benefits others, but not us.
And now I'm going to fall off my soapbox... *g*
no subject
Also, it's not really work that's bothering me. It's a lot, and I've been working 10 hour days to get it closer to done, but I don't begrudge the extra time.
Actually the taken advantage of isn't so much people demanding things from me in the particular situation, it's more me not demanding more from others. Taking crumbs rather than getting what I deserve.
being one of the three of us who is disabled
Oh? I don't think I knew that....
Thanks for the comment, it's nice when you can come onto LJ and have your friends help you out :)
no subject
It is probably because I'm disabled that I'm so independant and bloody minded. I come from a family of 5 kids, and our genetic condition got #1, #4 and #5. I'm #4 and the only girl. Mum had it too, which is how we got it as it is a dominant trait. We Spinal Muscular Atrophy, which is basically like a genetic form of polio. So, with mum and us disabled kids outnumbering the rest of the family we ruled the world!!!!! *veg*
The main thing it taught me was to look after myself, and that to do so wasn't selfish. I learned to pace myself young, and have never let it stop me doing anything, from working full time to travelling. I've slowed down now, but I'm 47 yrs old so I'm entitled...
It can be a hard lesson to learn, that you are allowed as much space and care as anyone else. And to not feel guilty taking that space. Even if it isn't offered.