So....

[paraka]

Anyone here know how hard it is to become a hermit? Because I'm seriously considering it.

It's got to be better to consciously decide to be alone, and never expect anyone rather than expect people and be disappointed and hurt by it.

I'm the type of person who's nice. I go out of my way to help people and try and be nice, but I really have to think about changing all that, because I put other peoples needs before mine, and really, sometimes that just comes back to bite you in the ass. I try to be there, and be understanding, and make sure that everyone is happy, even if it puts me out and then I end up with second best, or if I do try and get what I want I end up alone.

God I spent half the evening mentally writing this post; in great detail. Now I'm just to upset and tiered, and wow, still have things for other people to get done, so don't really have time. So instead you get this vague cranky post.

Comments

[paraka]

Should be brave enough to just say it I guess.
Hey, I just went and made a post about what's really bothering me, but first went and made a new filter so that the person who really should be reading it will be filtered out. So I totally understand.

And you know, one of the things about LJ is that for the most part, when you make a post and complain about things in RL, everyone here is on your side. I mean you talk about your bitchy boss? We all agree, even if you said the same thing to a co-worker they'd tell you you're being whiny. I say go ahead and post.

Anway, take care of you OK? *hugs*
I'm really not sure how to in this situation :S If I say something probably everything will be ruined, if I don't say anything I'm going to have this festering resentment building. I just don't know.....

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

I know all about the festering resentment of not saying anything cos I'm feeling it right now. Nuh. There's no easy answer. I do think thought that people do things in their own time and when they're ready and for some people it takes longer than others. One day you'll decide (as will I) that you've had enough of being treated like this and you'll walk away from the situation knowing that the time is right and that you're doing the right thing. No-one can tell you when to do that though cos it's different for everyone.

Until then though we have to learn to live with the resentment I think.

*hugs*

[paraka]

OK, I have to ask, and feel free to tell me to mind my own business, but what's happening that has you so upset? Is it a RL person? Or an on-line person (since you're uncomfortable posting it to LJ)? What's (s)he doing?

Right now, I just don' know if I want to go through with this weekend if it means all the extra stupid traveling. I'm thinking about talking to the other girl, Kristen, who's coming down, and seeing if she would be up for changing the week we did this. 'Cause at this point, I don't know if I'll even enjoy it.

[the-muppet.livejournal.com]

It's an online person and sometimes they drive me crazy with their selfishenss but I'm also to blame for letting them.

i think it's a good diea changing the weekend if you can cos it really doesn't sound like you'll enjoy it the way things are right now.

[paraka]

Ah selfishness. It always surprises me, but there's an aweful lot of selfishness online. In RL too, but sometimes it's worse online.

i think it's a good diea changing the weekend
I'm going to try it at least.