Fic Reading Habits

[paraka]

So, I've been talking in a couple places to paradise_city about fanfic, and our preferences.
The thing is, I'm not really comfortable talking about which fics I like, and which ones I don't. To some extent, I don't like leaving *comments* to fics, because then people will *know* I read it. It doesn't matter if it's the fandoms latest *hit* that already has 8 pages of comments, or if I'm the first to leave a comment (and it's been up for a month) it makes me nervous. I have to be in a very specific mood, or be affected by a fic in a very specific way before I leave a comment. And yes, I feel shame over this. Especially considering how much of a feedback whore I am.

But it comes down to not feeling comfortable having people know what fics I read; what type I enjoy. Because sometimes? The fandom's latest hit just doesn't impress me, or one that I just couldn't stop reading? I know other people would mock. Also, I read a lot of kink fic, and I'm kind of freaked out about what those fics reveal about me.

It also feels weird to admit that I hardly read any fics with ratings less than NC-17. When you say things like that, it sounds like you're just there for the sex, and really, most of the time I'm *not.* I skim sex scenes a lot, and hardly ever read PWPs, but won't read a longer one that doesn't have a high rating. I was talking on a com about this (ok, it was a com about how author's rate their fic, and how there's no reason for us to under rate it, but this came up), and someone said that they do that too, because it generally guarantees that the main couple get together (even if it's only temporary), and sex often conveys a level of intimacy that she's searching for. I think that's sort of it for me. I want for there to be a certain lever of intimacy in my fics (and I like my subtext textual, so I look for ones with sex).

Anyways, wandering off topic here, but I wanted to ask:
How comfortable are you with sharing your reading habits?
Are there any fics out there that you like/dislike, but are hesitant to admit it?

I always have anon comments available on my LJ, so feel free to use it, but I'm really interested in hearing people's responses to these questions. :)

Comments

[argosy.livejournal.com]

I read mostly NC-17 when I first got into fic, flush with the new joy of OMG, my boys doing it, and not just doing it, falling in looove. Which I think is what you're saying about sex and intimacy. But once I'd exhausted most of the NC-17 that was around then, I was more or less forced to read other ratings and found just as much looove.

Then I started writing fic and some of it was NC-17 because the smut was important to the fic, and some of it was lower-rated because no sex was needed to tell the story. And that made me even readier to read fic of all ratings. So now I try to more or less ignore ratings when choosing what to read. Unless I'm in the mood for a good sexin' up, that is, which frequently happens.

And after I exhausted all the good slash of the moment (hey I read a lot), and my fic addiction needed a fix bad, I had to read gen--it was all I could get my hands on. Better than nothing, I thought, but then I discovered how much amazing genfic there was out there, most times with just as much looove--just expressed differently.

And that is my evolution as a fic reader. Still haven't written any gen yet, but someday...

As for sharing my reading habits. Not in RL, no. Only a select few, by which I mean literally two, have any idea I'm in fandom. They would not get it. But in terms of what people on the internet think? I don't care. I have yet to run across the most filthy-disgusting-baby-eating story in fandom that I adore and no one else does. Because if that story is out there, and I do adore it, I know that fandom is such that other people adore it too, and a lot of them are less shy than me in saying so. I think fandom is an extremely accepting place, that's one thing I love about it.

I go through lurking periods, but I try my best to leave feedback. I don't give the best feedback, I know, but I also know that as a writer I might like the really detailed comments the best, but I treasure each and every one.

[paraka]

I read mostly NC-17 when I first got into fic, flush with the new joy of OMG, my boys doing it, and not just doing it, falling in looove. Which I think is what you're saying about sex and intimacy. But once I'd exhausted most of the NC-17 that was around then, I was more or less forced to read other ratings and found just as much looove.
In SGA!? You've run out of things to read in the SGA fandom!?

I think I actually started the other way, reading anything, and then narrowing it down to the higher rated stuff. But that's mostly because my fist fandom was Queer as Folk, so there was always at least implied boy love :P Now that I've been in fandoms where there are lots of different pairings available, and lots with no pairings at all, I find I use ratings as a way to see if it fits into what I'm looking for. But that's not to say I don't read things with other ratings, I just don't go out looking for it, but if something pops up on my flist, and can catch my attention, I'll read it, or at least put it on my To-Read list.

I discovered how much amazing genfic there was out there, most times with just as much looove--just expressed differently.
Yeah, I know there can be a lot of love expressed in gen fic. I just find myself getting impatient if the fic is very long, since I'm one of those people that likes my subtext textual :P So will pick up on the subtext and want the to *do* something about it, and nothing pisses gen writers off more than saying that (not that I ever have, I'm not stupid, but apparently people do :S).
I do love short gen though, that just gives a little look into what life is like for our team.

As for sharing my reading habits. Not in RL, no. Only a select few, by which I mean literally two, have any idea I'm in fandom.
There are actually a few people in my RL who know, but that's mostly because I found out about fandom from people I know in RL.
But it's really hard to explain fandom to people who haven't experienced it. Once a guy at work asked me what I was reading, and I sort of tried to explain, but once we got to slash ("It sound violent" "Errr, not really, it has nothing to do with slasher movies") I stopped, because I just was *not* going to go there.

But in terms of what people on the internet think? I don't care. I have yet to run across the most filthy-disgusting-baby-eating story in fandom that I adore and no one else does. Because if that story is out there, and I do adore it, I know that fandom is such that other people adore it too, and a lot of them are less shy than me in saying so. I think fandom is an extremely accepting place, that's one thing I love about it.
See, I think my problem is, I actually have come across situations where things I've read and liked have gotten disdain from others. My best friend, the one who introduced me to fandom, in the early days would just shake her head when I'd talk about the kind of fics I was reading. There have been plenty of occasions on my flist where fics that I have read and liked have been attacked or mocked. And lastly there's me rolling my eyes at my little sister when she talks about the kind of fics she reads (that I wouldn't touch if they were the last fics on earth if her explanation is anything to go by).
So I've come across people not accepting what other people read and like (I've even done it myself). Granted when I do it, I tend to just think, wow, I don't want to read that myself, but still hold the thought that if just one person enjoyed a fic (and I include the author here) than it's worthwhile, and that's probably true for the other people who have made me feel like that, but still, I think I make things bigger in my head than they really are.

I don't give the best feedback, I know, but I also know that as a writer I might like the really detailed comments the best, but I treasure each and every one.
Yeah, that's what I have to tell myself whenever I'm trying to talk myself into leaving comments. I know I'm a total feedback whore, and just a little can get me started again (even if I don't end up *finishing* as has been the case for the past *year*).