Fic Reading Habits

[paraka]

So, I've been talking in a couple places to paradise_city about fanfic, and our preferences.
The thing is, I'm not really comfortable talking about which fics I like, and which ones I don't. To some extent, I don't like leaving *comments* to fics, because then people will *know* I read it. It doesn't matter if it's the fandoms latest *hit* that already has 8 pages of comments, or if I'm the first to leave a comment (and it's been up for a month) it makes me nervous. I have to be in a very specific mood, or be affected by a fic in a very specific way before I leave a comment. And yes, I feel shame over this. Especially considering how much of a feedback whore I am.

But it comes down to not feeling comfortable having people know what fics I read; what type I enjoy. Because sometimes? The fandom's latest hit just doesn't impress me, or one that I just couldn't stop reading? I know other people would mock. Also, I read a lot of kink fic, and I'm kind of freaked out about what those fics reveal about me.

It also feels weird to admit that I hardly read any fics with ratings less than NC-17. When you say things like that, it sounds like you're just there for the sex, and really, most of the time I'm *not.* I skim sex scenes a lot, and hardly ever read PWPs, but won't read a longer one that doesn't have a high rating. I was talking on a com about this (ok, it was a com about how author's rate their fic, and how there's no reason for us to under rate it, but this came up), and someone said that they do that too, because it generally guarantees that the main couple get together (even if it's only temporary), and sex often conveys a level of intimacy that she's searching for. I think that's sort of it for me. I want for there to be a certain lever of intimacy in my fics (and I like my subtext textual, so I look for ones with sex).

Anyways, wandering off topic here, but I wanted to ask:
How comfortable are you with sharing your reading habits?
Are there any fics out there that you like/dislike, but are hesitant to admit it?

I always have anon comments available on my LJ, so feel free to use it, but I'm really interested in hearing people's responses to these questions. :)

Comments

[paraka]

I think I'm pretty comfortable sharing my reading habits but it's not something I volunteer, much like being in fandom to people in RL.
Yeah, that's kind of what it's like for me. It's not like I'm always thinking "OMG! What if someone finds out I read this fic!" But I get kind of nervous talking about what it is I like to read. My best friend was the one who got me interested in fandom, and she's in about 50 different fandoms at any one time, because she only reads a fic if it's been rec'ed in three different places, so she used to mock me when I'd tell her what I was reading (I'm generally only in one fandom at a time, you can't just read perfect stuff if you're sticking to one fandom), I think that's where a lot of my insecurities come from.

That, and the QaF fandom was really hard on bad fic. I mean, there were two different communities set up to mock or complain about bad fic, and considering how small the fandom is...
Then there were those bad fic awards that really divided the fandom (which I think is where my paranoia about leaving comments comes from).

Even in SGA I've come across it, there's this one person on my flist who often makes posts mocking bad fic, except most of them I've read. Even if I didn't *love* them, I still didn't hate them or anything, so it makes me uncomfortable. And there are a lot of "Serious business" fics in this fandom, that everyone seems to go crazy over (Freedom's Just Another Word For Nothing Left to Lose, or Written By the Victor's) and I... just don't love them. I'm more likely to go crazy over the fic where Rodney gives birth to ducks.

I will say that I almost always read NC-17 and it's partly for the sex but the intimacy is definitely one of the most important parts, that feeling of deep connection you often find there and I'm more able to get an emotional response.
*nods*

I assume that either no ones reading besides the author
I... always read the first page of comments. Always. Does no one else do this? Am I just weird? Granted you're right, I did just finish reading the fic, but I'll finish reading a fic I didn't like, just because I have this compulsion to finish what I started (I'm getting better and closing the window, but still, most of the time, I finish it, even if I *hate* it, which will have me going o_O at the people leaving gushing comments of love, maybe that too, is why I hesitate in leaving comments...).

fandom's there for you to explore everything there is.
Oh if asked outright I'll tell you what I read, but like you said, I just don't feel the need to advertise. But after reading the rest of the comments, I'm beginning to think I'm just weird :P