paraka | The gym and another rant.

Note to Self: Don't leave gym back in the car all day when it's -27 outside. Shampoo has the consistency of ice cream when cold, and it's not pleasant to rub around on your head.

In good news though, I really am beginning to feel better because of the gym. There's this stairs machine that I often go on for 15 minutes. When I first started on it, it nearly *killed* me. And I'd have to really push myself for the last 5 minutes. Today though, when I looked down at the 10 minute mark, I was just beginning to feel winded. When I finished, my legs didn't even feel shaky. So I upped my time on the bike by 5 minutes, but I think next time, I'll up the stair time too. Go me.

Fandom-wise, know what really makes me annoyed? I know everyone has varying degrees of time available to be in fandom, but it drives me crazy when some people try and make light of their fandom embarrassment, by pointing to someone else and saying they need to get a life.

The girl that I go to the gym with was my best friend when I was in grade 4. We've moved away from each other in a lot of ways, but she's always fought to keep our friendship going and we've been doing a lot better now that we're going to the gym together. One of the other things that has helped a bit, is she reluctantly admitted to finding out about fandom and enjoying it.

We're in totally different parts of fandom, and she mostly just reads, but we'll talk about it together; about fics we've read, or which fandoms we prefer. So it drives me really crazy when she disses me for being in fandom. I made the mistake of telling her that I went to a con called "Toronto Trek" and now she'll mock me for being one of "those" fans who goes to Star Trek conventions (never mind that there is very little there about Star Trek, which is why they're now called Polaris). I told her about how I'm on the waiting list for Vividcon, and she totally rolled her eyes at me.

The thing that really got me upset though, is that today when we were talking about our weekend, I mentioned that

paradise_city has been encouraging me to write a fic, and I had started it. Amy rolled her eyes, so hard I'm surprised it didn't hurt, and told me I have far too much time on my hands. When I pointed out to her that she spends her free time *reading* fanfic, she told me that it's totally different. Come on, what? Without the writers, there would be no readers! Also, you can write *anywhere*. Even if you haven't any paper, you can still sit there planning out scenes or whatever, but to read, you have to be in front of a computer. I just don't get her.
/rant

So I seem to be ranting a lot lately... Sorry?

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm sorry, but your friend seems to be kind of a dooftard.

Yeah, she kind of is. We became friends in grade 4 because we were both outcasts. I was the fat kid, and she was (actually still is sometimes) really socially awkward.

Come high school, I found out friendship really awkward, and was totally ready to let it go, but she'd still call me up and want to do things, and I never had the heart to tell her I think we should go our separate ways. I avoided her as much as I could for a long time, but lately things have gotten better. I just find her maddeningly annoying sometimes, and today is one of those times.

I mean, why is it ok for us to spend en entire Saturday watching Supernatural and talking about the fics we've read lately but it's not ok for me to try writing a fic? Why has that gone too far? I just don't get her.

Go you! You're doing pretty well then. ^.^

And she's totally being silly. It's the same, either way.

That really makes no sense. But I think it's great that you're sticking with your friendship, even if she drives you batshit. That sort of ~~pity~~ patience is the only reason I have a RL friend...that and the fact that we've never lived in the same state and therefore she's avoided a fatal dose of my annoyingness. But anyway.

Go you with the fic! I can't tell you how much I wish I could write. I churned out a few fics when I was in the Vigori fandom (talk about an embarassing fandom to own up to LOL), until I realized I was writing bad!fic and people were mocking it, so I stopped. I tried a few things in QaF, but they weren't very good and I realized that writing, as much as it's something I want to do, just isn't something I can do. *sigh*

But one more author on flist is \o/ for me!

I can't tell you how much I wish I could write.
Yeah, me too. Before you go adding me to your list of author's I'd wait and see if I actually produce. I'm kind of a crappy writer, but I made the mistake of telling

paradise_city about a plot bunny I had, and now she's cheerleadering me into writing it. I'm not sure I have the actual ability to do it though, so currently I'm researching :P

As for the friend, well, as I said, we're getting along better, but I do get the feeling that she hangs out with me a lot because she hasn't very many other friends, and isn't that good at entertaining herself (whereas with me, if you give me a computer and a good internet connection, I could happily go *days* without ever seeing anyone :P)

I was pretty happy myself. This is the first time I've really felt it.

And yeah, with my friend, I'm really not sure what she was getting at.

You could always tell her that there are worse parts of fandom. My ex-roommate was into fandom as well, but she and some of her other fandom friends would talk on the phone and role play it. Now, normally, I have no issues with RPing (another friend and I used to do it too, though she would never admit that what we were doing was basically scripting fanfic), but she and these friends (who all tended to be 16-18 year old girls) would role play yaoi (slash) Kingdom Hearts (anime/video game) scenes where they were basically seducing one another. And they would meow at each other. It was creepy.

But, yay for maybe writing a story! Even if you don't finish (or start) it, sometimes just working through the plot and figuring things out is enough to get other creative juices flowing.

I don't think people should ever be embarrassed about creating something, be it fanfic, vids, icons, meta, or even just a regular old run-of-the-mill lj post that details one's recent RL goingson. In fact, when it comes to fandom, I start feeling guilty if a significant period of time passes without me sharing a vid or even just a post about the latest ep of whatever show I watched and enjoyed 'cause that's what fandom's about - the give and take - and otherwise I just feel like a big fat taker, y'know?

Go, go, gym!paraka! I'm glad you're doing great.

And yeah, I think your friend has some shame issues herself and it working them out on you. Don't let her get you down and keep writing if you feel like it!

While I know there are worse parts of fandom, I'd hate to give that as an excuse, because I think that's what she's doing to me. She's trying to hide her shame in being part of fandom my telling herself, "Well, at least I'm not as bad as *Lindsay* is" and I find it offensive. I feel no shame in my participation in fandom, and it bugs me that she tries to make me.

I think Amy is just too much of a lurker to see fandom beyond the entertainment value, and see it as a community. To be a part of the community, you have to give as well as take, whether it be writing or vidding epics, or simply leaving comments in peoples journals.

I used to be a huge lurker (umm, more than I am now that is :P) and it's just not the same.

And I totally get what you mean about feeling guilty if you're not participating regularly.

That does suck. While I can understand the shame that might come as you first get involved in fandom, you do eventually move out of that. Unless you're stuck in that first stage of just entering and finding all these strange people with weird names for shit but who write really good ~~porn~~ fic.

How long has it been since she got into fandom? She might just be overwhelmed with the idea that those "weird" people are people she knows and is trying to reconcile it. But doing so badly.

She's been in fandom for at least a year, probably longer. But she's really doesn't spend much time in it, and I don't think she joins in any of the social aspects of it, she just goes to places like ff.net to search for fic.

I think she just has trouble thinking of fandom as people. She sees it as the work that's put out, but doesn't think of any of the work put into it.

I'm glad the gym thing is working out too. I don't expect to be buff or anything, but it's nice knowing that I have a bit more stamina. Especially since I'd still like to travel more, and those first few weeks in China nearly killed me with all the huffing and puffing I was doing.

As for the friend, well, yeah, I think there must be some shame issues, because it doesn't make sense any other way. If she thinks so little of fanfic authors, than why the hell would she read their fic? Or maybe she just thinks I'm a crap writer :P

The gym and another rant.

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