I think what cantarina means by "how do we write these posts without making it look like we're laying down battle lines?" is how can we spell out what we expect from the author and lines we don't want to cross, without putting the author off.

Like, I want control of the audio copy of the fic. I don't want the author doing anything to my podfic without asking first. Or, if the author wants to take down their fic, I might not necessarily take my podfic down. How do we explain that with out putting the author off?