So....

[paraka]

Anyone here know how hard it is to become a hermit? Because I'm seriously considering it.

It's got to be better to consciously decide to be alone, and never expect anyone rather than expect people and be disappointed and hurt by it.

I'm the type of person who's nice. I go out of my way to help people and try and be nice, but I really have to think about changing all that, because I put other peoples needs before mine, and really, sometimes that just comes back to bite you in the ass. I try to be there, and be understanding, and make sure that everyone is happy, even if it puts me out and then I end up with second best, or if I do try and get what I want I end up alone.

God I spent half the evening mentally writing this post; in great detail. Now I'm just to upset and tiered, and wow, still have things for other people to get done, so don't really have time. So instead you get this vague cranky post.

Comments

[paraka]

That's why I enjoy being alone.

Yeah, I just want to be alone today, but I can't because it's Canada Day, and normally I *love* Canada day, but I just don't want to be around people right now. *sigh*

[kukalaka.livejournal.com]

That's really sad. What do you do on Canada Day?

[paraka]

Well I always go down to my grandparents place and spend the day with family. I get a lot of weird looks from people because I live in Canada's capital but have never been to a Canada Day celebration on the hill. :P

Every year there's a parade, and they turn the park into a fair ground. It's been getting kind of crappy in the past couple of years, but this year the parade wasn't bad. I didn't even check out the park, but some of the kids did, and the younger ones had fun (the older ones said it was geared towards little kids too much for them to have fun).

Then at night they put on a fireworks show. I actually didn't make it this year for the fireworks, we headed home early.

I actually tried to get drunk yesterday in the hopes that that would make the crowds a bit easier, and well, I didn't quite make it to drunk (I'm not exactly a light weight, so it's really hard for me to get drunk without doing shots) but it did make it easier. I was kind of angry at people in the morning, but come afternoon we were all hanging out, and I managed to disturb my father which was fun :P

[kukalaka.livejournal.com]

I'm not exactly a light weight, so it's really hard for me to get drunk without doing shots
Same here. I actually never tried getting drunk, but I can drink a lot and nobody would even notice it. It must be in my genes... But I don't like alcohol very much anyway, so I rarely drink it.

The only thing I would have liked were the fireworks. But I normally don't see them because it's always so late...

[paraka]

Yeah, I don't drink that much either. I don't like the taste of alcohol to just want, like, a glass of wine or a bottle of beer or whatever. And well, there are appealing things about getting drunk (although I've never been so drunk that I've been hung over or don't remember, I have done something stupid, but it wasn't the end of the world), but like I said, it takes a lot. I had 5 drinks yesterday, and the only effect I felt was I got a little bit dizzy when I reached down for something. That was it.

The only thing I would have liked were the fireworks.
OMG I don't think I'll ever be able to think of fireworks, and not think of China. On Chinese New Years there were so many fireworks that we had to yell at each other to be heard, and we were at home in our apartment. It actually sounded like we were being invaded and bombs were being dropped it was sooooo loud.

[kukalaka.livejournal.com]

I saw the most amazing fireworks in Brazil. But I can imagine how it must have felt in China. I mean, most of the things are produced there.

Last year, I felt a bit dizzy after doing a drinking game. But we were at home, so it was okay,

[paraka]

But I can imagine how it must have felt in China.
Actually they weren't very good. It was more of a quantity vs. quality thing.

The coolest fireworks I've ever seen was at this show the local casino puts on, where they have groups from all over the world come and compete. The fire works go on for like an hour, and they set them to music. I heard that it's a couple million dollars a night worth of fireworks.