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So last night I was talking with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
paradise_city about incest fic. And well, it led me to a question, and I'd really like to hear what my flist has to say about it.
Fandom has a lot of different kinds of relationships portrayed, and a lot of them are outside of things that we've seen or thought we might enjoy (reading or in RL) before we came to fandom. Some of them are/were outside our moral code. Some things that we used to think we wrong, we may now think of as right, or vise versa. Some things we never thought we'd like, we now love or vise versa.
Are there things you've run across in fandom that have changed your personal moral code I mean mostly in regards to relationships, but you can include other aspects as well. Also, if you like something in fandom/fanfic, does that mean you'd accept it in RL? Or do you draw a line between fiction and reality?
I mean, there are a lot of people in fandom who read incest fic, if you came across an incestuous couple in RL, would you be ok with it? What about things other than incest? I know my first change way back in my early days of fandom was to finally see that an open relationship could work, if both partners wanted it. Or later, that threesomes, or moresomes could work. I grew up in a very traditional household, where mostly, it's expected for a girl to meet a guy, fall in love and get married, so seeing all of the other kinds of relationships out there really changed my view on these things, and moved some things off my moral codes list of "wrong".
paradise_city about incest fic. And well, it led me to a question, and I'd really like to hear what my flist has to say about it.Fandom has a lot of different kinds of relationships portrayed, and a lot of them are outside of things that we've seen or thought we might enjoy (reading or in RL) before we came to fandom. Some of them are/were outside our moral code. Some things that we used to think we wrong, we may now think of as right, or vise versa. Some things we never thought we'd like, we now love or vise versa.
Are there things you've run across in fandom that have changed your personal moral code I mean mostly in regards to relationships, but you can include other aspects as well. Also, if you like something in fandom/fanfic, does that mean you'd accept it in RL? Or do you draw a line between fiction and reality?
I mean, there are a lot of people in fandom who read incest fic, if you came across an incestuous couple in RL, would you be ok with it? What about things other than incest? I know my first change way back in my early days of fandom was to finally see that an open relationship could work, if both partners wanted it. Or later, that threesomes, or moresomes could work. I grew up in a very traditional household, where mostly, it's expected for a girl to meet a guy, fall in love and get married, so seeing all of the other kinds of relationships out there really changed my view on these things, and moved some things off my moral codes list of "wrong".
Re: Morality in fic
Yeah, non-con was the main point I forgot while writing this post up. Because I often find it sexy in fic (esp. Dub-con) I can't find it acceptable in RL.
rape included things like Person A having sex with Person B even when Person A doesn't want to just to keep the peace of make Person B happy at his or her own expense. I think anyone being harassed for sex after saying no, no matter how mildly, is intolerable.
See, I don't think I could ever say in RL that what you described is rape. Sure, if that's all your sex life is, or if your doing it, because when things aren't peaceful your household is in a really bad place, but overall?
There's this one SGA fic out there, where John is mooning over Rodney, and thinks he's going to find some girl and get married, and when thinking about it, John thinks something along the line of "Rodney deserves a wife that will have sex with him, even if she's beat and would really rather sleep" and then later switches it so it's Rodney having sex even though he's beat and would rather sleep, and I can't help but find that thought sweet. I'm sure most people in the world have had sex with their partner, even though they'd rather not because it would make their partner happy.
Also, saying things like above, well, it kind of cheapens the word rape when it can be applied to most people out there. Trying to say that "Oh honey, not tonight, well, ok" is equal to someone who has been brutally raped against their will is not right. Were you around for the radical feminist wank? Amoung other things, the feminist was saying exactly that, and someone on my flist made a really angry post. She had been raped repeatedly by a family member when she was 8, it's not fair to her and others to apply the same word and all that it means to "I just don't feel like it tonight, well fine, I guess a quick one". I'm not saying it's never rape, but I certainly don't think you can make the generalization that it is.