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So I still haven't written about the party this weekend. I went really well. My cousin forgot his speech, so that was a little rough, but we managed to keep the location a surprise until almost the very end. The thing that made the weekend really long for me was, well, I kind of fell into one of those moods I get (skirting the edge of depression) where I just didn't want to see anyone, and was feeling really bitchy inside (I kind of let some of it out on ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
paradise_city, so sorry about that :S). I don't know if it's because I was really stressed going into the weekend, or just hormones, but I did not want to talk to people this weekend. I did get by ok, at the party, I was the DJ so sat in the corner mostly by myself. The next day when everyone was hanging out at my Nana's, I escaped by doing the dishes. Both of these escapes had the bright side of making me look really good to my family. It was also really nice that I was staying at a different house, because it meant we had a place to go to get
some peace and quiet. They also have internet there, so it was great being able to check my e-mail. I'm kind of a junkie (seriously, I always wonder why I don't have more new e-mails in my inbox, but that's mostly because I check it 5 times an hour, not because I don't get very many).
There were still a few bumps and drama's. My uncle heard a beeping in the middle of the night, and thought the fire alarm was short on battaries, so he pressed the reset button and got the rest of the family running outside at 4 in the morning thinking the house was on fire. One of my aunts took showers really early and woke everyone up while doing it. But most of these things were small.
I just wish I could get out of this funk. I've woken up the past couple days crying. Not over anything in particular, I'm just feeling crappy. My moods have been swinging a lot too, where one minute I'll be super happy, and the next I just want everything to go away. God, I hate feeling like this.
paradise_city, so sorry about that :S). I don't know if it's because I was really stressed going into the weekend, or just hormones, but I did not want to talk to people this weekend. I did get by ok, at the party, I was the DJ so sat in the corner mostly by myself. The next day when everyone was hanging out at my Nana's, I escaped by doing the dishes. Both of these escapes had the bright side of making me look really good to my family. It was also really nice that I was staying at a different house, because it meant we had a place to go to getsome peace and quiet. They also have internet there, so it was great being able to check my e-mail. I'm kind of a junkie (seriously, I always wonder why I don't have more new e-mails in my inbox, but that's mostly because I check it 5 times an hour, not because I don't get very many).
There were still a few bumps and drama's. My uncle heard a beeping in the middle of the night, and thought the fire alarm was short on battaries, so he pressed the reset button and got the rest of the family running outside at 4 in the morning thinking the house was on fire. One of my aunts took showers really early and woke everyone up while doing it. But most of these things were small.
I just wish I could get out of this funk. I've woken up the past couple days crying. Not over anything in particular, I'm just feeling crappy. My moods have been swinging a lot too, where one minute I'll be super happy, and the next I just want everything to go away. God, I hate feeling like this.
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And yeah, it gets me when people push you when you just want to be alone, or make it about them. The thing that a lot of people don't understand is, that with depression, you can't just choose to turn it off. It's not like if you try harder it'll go away, in fact, that's likely to make it *worse*. Sometimes you just need a day or two of sleeping a lot, and doing things on your own.