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I doubt that anyone actually waiting for a reply on comments from me is actually reading this post, but, if they are, I'll get to them soon. Tomorrow at the very latest.
I hope people on my flist had a nice weekend, I know for a lot of us it was a long weekend.
For me, while there was laughs and chocolate, it was also really stressful and draining.
About a year ago, I came back home, just in time to watch my grandfather die. We've been handling it rather well, but this is going to be a really hard week. Especially for my grandmother. She's been having a lot of trouble coping with being alone. And living alone for the first time in over 50 years. My grandparents had been together for 55 years when my grandfather died. When I left her house yesterday, my sister was with her as she sobbed.
I'm not really going to get into this, I don't really think I can. I miss him, he was really a centre to our family. I'm stressed, and I really don't want to talk to anyone right now. I wish that I had never made that post over a week ago, and that no one linked to it. But I did make it, and people have been reading and responding to it, so I *will* respond, just... when I'm feeling a little less broken.
Also, how do you respond to a comment like this?
::sigh::
Sorry. I just don't have the energy.
Today, you have made the world a sadder place for me.
Bummed--
Aristide
I... have no idea what to say to that. At all.
I hope people on my flist had a nice weekend, I know for a lot of us it was a long weekend.
For me, while there was laughs and chocolate, it was also really stressful and draining.
About a year ago, I came back home, just in time to watch my grandfather die. We've been handling it rather well, but this is going to be a really hard week. Especially for my grandmother. She's been having a lot of trouble coping with being alone. And living alone for the first time in over 50 years. My grandparents had been together for 55 years when my grandfather died. When I left her house yesterday, my sister was with her as she sobbed.
I'm not really going to get into this, I don't really think I can. I miss him, he was really a centre to our family. I'm stressed, and I really don't want to talk to anyone right now. I wish that I had never made that post over a week ago, and that no one linked to it. But I did make it, and people have been reading and responding to it, so I *will* respond, just... when I'm feeling a little less broken.
Also, how do you respond to a comment like this?
::sigh::
Sorry. I just don't have the energy.
Today, you have made the world a sadder place for me.
Bummed--
Aristide
I... have no idea what to say to that. At all.
no subject
Was that a comment to fic or something? If it was, what a strange thing to say.
no subject
Over a week ago, I made the mistake of writing out some of my thoughts on the whole "racism in SGA AU fics" thing here. I'm mostly a lurker, and not very many people read my LJ (and even less read my LJ *and* are in the SGA fandom, so I stupidly thought I was safe), so I left it public, and moved on. On Friday though, someone linked to it in
I made some statements that really kind of sidestepped what was actually being discussed, threw in my own opinions. I mentioned how stupid people were being. I offered up my theory on why this might be occuring, and mentioned that I hadn't actually noticed this trend of racism.
It was poorly thought out (again, me just making notes to myself more than anything). It made some implications that I really never meant, and it's left me as one of the few people "defending" (really more of excusing) author's who might be writing such fics. It's also left people thinking that I'm racist/living with blinders on/"accusing people of colour of making shit up" (quoting the last one there) and I'm sure other unpleasant thoughts, none of which I meant, but have to live with now.
When the first comments popped up, my stomach was in total knots, because I'm non-confrontational, but knew that this post was going to put me in a situation I didn't really want to be in (I'm a lurker for a *reason*), and while I'll admit to wanting to delete/lock the post, that seemed really cowardly. So, I'm trying to talk about it, but really I just want to crawl into bed and cry. *sigh*
no subject
That should *actually read as:
It made some implications that I really never meant, and it's left me as one of the few people "defending" author's (really more making up excuses) who might be writing such fics.
no subject
That sucks. And it's a shame that these discussions always seem to result in this, at least somewhere.
no subject
Yeah, that's what I *normally* do, and should I ever feel the need to put my thoughts down on something like this again, well, I'll use a word doc.
That sucks. And it's a shame that these discussions always seem to result in this, at least somewhere.
It *is*. You think to yourself, "I don't know these people, I'll likely never meet them, I know myself, why should I let it bother me" but you just can't help but still be bothered. I was flamed in my last fandom, and well, I left because of it. People aren't *actually* flaming me here. For the most part people are being polite, but I still feel the pressure of their judgment.
And the sad thing is, I know I'm not the only one who's... not 100% behind the discussion.
Anyways, you want to stay out of it, so I'll stop. To tell the truth, I don't want to talk about it either, but, well, it's there anyways.
no subject
It sounds like there's the perception of polarization in a lot of these discussions.
no subject
*shrugs* In the end I can only speak for myself, so I guess it doesn't really matter.