Probably TMI, but *meh*

[paraka]

So, I'm fat. I've been fat all my life, I freely admit this. So, it drives me crazy when people assume that because you're fat, your biggest wish is to not be fat. Sure, if someone came out with a pill tomorrow that would safely have you lose weight without having to work for it, I'd probably take it, but my weight isn't something I stress over from day to day. I have no doubt that I could lose a ton of weight if I really wanted to, sure it's hard, but I'm super stubborn about the things I want.

The thing is though, I don't mind my weight. Not really. I'm comfortable in my body. Sure I can't run marathons or anything, but I don't want to in the first place, so it's all good. There have been a few times in my life, where I have been uncomfortable with my fitness level (not necessarily my weight), when I've let things go, and suddenly I find myself getting winded, or tired well before I think I should, and at those points in my life, I've gotten my act together and *fixed* it.

I'm at one of those points in my life now. Now that I'm working instead of going to school, and living in the country instead of in the city, I find myself sitting at a desk all day and driving everywhere, so I'm beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. To fix this, I've joined a gym with a friend of mine. We've been going about 3 times a week this past month.

The part that's driving me crazy, is everyone assumes I'm going because I'm finally going to lose all my extra weight. My parents and sister ask me *every* *day* how things are going at the gym, and I want to kill them. They're telling the *rest* of my family that I'm finally going to the gym, and it's frustrating, because I think the rest of the family is expecting me to have lost 20 pounds by the next time we meet. My mom always goes on and on about this diet or another, and about how she really wants to lose weight too; she'll get into a ton of different philosophies, and can seriously talk about it for *hours*. I run away whenever I can before she ca really get into it.

Except, that's totally not why I'm going to the gym. I won't be unhappy if I lose weight from the work outs, but losing weight requires a lifestyle change, and I'm not dieting, nor am I killing myself to burn off all those calories. I'm just going and building up some muscle so I won't feel uncomfortable with myself. It's already working wonders for me (my knee had been bothering and I had been limping a bit, and now it's totally gone). I got a health check yesterday and they said my heart rate is amazing (although, I don't imagine my 3 weeks at the gym did that, since my resting heart rate was like 20 beats/minute under that of a normal person).

I just... wish everyone would lay off me about it, because if they don't it's going to lead to disappointment all around.

Also, I really want to move out to my own place. Like now. I'm trying to save up for a house, but gah, I wish I could move today.

Comments

[geeklite.livejournal.com]

Ick. Going to the gym is about feeling good, not looking good. Silly family. If my family did that I'd tell them to be quiet about it because the more attention it garnered, the less I'd be likely to go.

[maekala.livejournal.com]

I totally hear what you're saying. The only reason that I know I want to lose weight now is because I'm going to *have* to if I want to get into any sort of law enforcement academy.

My grandmother was the sort of person who would rag on me endlessly about my weight and it used to piss me off. It was only made worse recently when she started off to me and my mother (we're both heavy) and I knew for a fact that I had actually *lost* a little recently because that was right after my night security stint when I wasn't eating hardly anything.

I really wish people would just let weight be. It should only be an issue if it's getting to be extremely unhealthy.

[terribilita.livejournal.com]

I don't have this problem of constant nagging anymore, but I can very much empathize because I once did. It's shit.

A tie-in to what you're saying: it really bugs me when people assume that someone who is overweight is trying to lose weight simply to look good. While, yeah, that could be a factor, it isn't always. Surprise, some fat people are comfortable with their weight! They love themselves! They're happy! There's just always that assumption that if you're overweight, you're unhappy or you're lazy or you're dumb. Even people you know and love can be downright belittling (and that sounds like it's a problem with your family consistently asking you about your exercise routine).

You know, as long as you're healthy and happy with yourself, the rest isn't as important (ask me about all the skinny miserable people I know).

[paradise-city.livejournal.com]

Yes. On my running list of Things I Wish I Could Make Other Professionals (And People) Understand is that fat does not always equal unhappy. People seem to understand pretty well that skinny does not always equal happy, but the flip side is taking a long time to catch on.

And I'm really sorry people are giving you a hard time about it. That sucks, big time. :(

[anoel.livejournal.com]

Argh I know just what you mean. I'd try to clarify that to them and tell them you don't want to talk about. I hate when my parents would mention anything about it as well especially because it's not their life so they should just leave me alone to my own choices. I completely agree about the lifestyle change and that it's better to take it slow and not worry about it anyways.

I hope you save enough to move out!