paraka | Probably TMI, but *meh*

Entry tags:

Probably TMI, but meh

So, I'm fat. I've been fat all my life, I freely admit this. So, it drives me crazy when people assume that because you're fat, your biggest wish is to not be fat. Sure, if someone came out with a pill tomorrow that would safely have you lose weight without having to work for it, I'd probably take it, but my weight isn't something I stress over from day to day. I have no doubt that I could lose a ton of weight if I really wanted to, sure it's hard, but I'm super stubborn about the things I want.

The thing is though, I don't mind my weight. Not really. I'm comfortable in my body. Sure I can't run marathons or anything, but I don't want to in the first place, so it's all good. There have been a few times in my life, where I have been uncomfortable with my fitness level (not necessarily my weight), when I've let things go, and suddenly I find myself getting winded, or tired well before I think I should, and at those points in my life, I've gotten my act together and *fixed* it.

I'm at one of those points in my life now. Now that I'm working instead of going to school, and living in the country instead of in the city, I find myself sitting at a desk all day and driving everywhere, so I'm beginning to feel a little uncomfortable. To fix this, I've joined a gym with a friend of mine. We've been going about 3 times a week this past month.

The part that's driving me crazy, is everyone assumes I'm going because I'm finally going to lose all my extra weight. My parents and sister ask me *every* *day* how things are going at the gym, and I want to kill them. They're telling the *rest* of my family that I'm finally going to the gym, and it's frustrating, because I think the rest of the family is expecting me to have lost 20 pounds by the next time we meet. My mom always goes on and on about this diet or another, and about how she really wants to lose weight too; she'll get into a ton of different philosophies, and can seriously talk about it for *hours*. I run away whenever I can before she ca really get into it.

Except, that's totally not why I'm going to the gym. I won't be unhappy if I lose weight from the work outs, but losing weight requires a lifestyle change, and I'm not dieting, nor am I killing myself to burn off all those calories. I'm just going and building up some muscle so I won't feel uncomfortable with myself. It's already working wonders for me (my knee had been bothering and I had been limping a bit, and now it's totally gone). I got a health check yesterday and they said my heart rate is amazing (although, I don't imagine my 3 weeks at the gym did that, since my resting heart rate was like 20 beats/minute under that of a normal person).

I just... wish everyone would lay off me about it, because if they don't it's going to lead to disappointment all around.

Also, I really want to move out to my own place. Like now. I'm trying to save up for a house, but gah, I wish I could move today.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ick. Going to the gym is about feeling good, not looking good. Silly family. If my family did that I'd tell them to be quiet about it because the more attention it garnered, the less I'd be likely to go.

Exactly. And I think one of the reasons I've given up on dieting, is because of all the attention it was given when I was younger. It's just, I want to yell "Fuck Off" at them, and tell them that they're actually being counterproductive, since every time they bring it up, I want to be contrary and *not* do what they want. Grrr.

I totally hear what you're saying. The only reason that I know I want to lose weight now is because I'm going to *have* to if I want to get into any sort of law enforcement academy.

My grandmother was the sort of person who would rag on me endlessly about my weight and it used to piss me off. It was only made worse recently when she started off to me and my mother (we're both heavy) and I knew for a fact that I had actually *lost* a little recently because that was right after my night security stint when I wasn't eating hardly anything.

I really wish people would just let weight be. It should only be an issue if it's getting to be extremely unhealthy.

My grandmother was the sort of person who would rag on me endlessly about my weight and it used to piss me off. It was only made worse recently when she started off to me and my mother (we're both heavy) and I knew for a fact that I had actually *lost* a little recently because that was right after my night security stint when I wasn't eating hardly anything.
God, I just wish that people would not talk about wight. Just leave it alone. It can never end well. I had one friend when I was in high school who had lost a lot of weight, and I think she wanted to inspire me to as well, so that every time I'd see her, she'd ask me if I had lost weight. That's just stupid, because, I totally hadn't, and it makes me wonder how fat I am in your head that you're constantly thinking I'm smaller than you remembered.

It should only be an issue if it's getting to be extremely unhealthy.
Yeah, the minute I have to quit my job because I'm too fat to get out of bed everyday, they you have the right to harass me about it. But I'm living a perfectly healthy life style so leave it be. If I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. *grumps*

I'm glad to know it's not just me though.

I don't have this problem of constant nagging anymore, but I can very much empathize because I once did. It's shit.

A tie-in to what you're saying: it really bugs me when people assume that someone who is overweight is trying to lose weight simply to look good. While, yeah, that could be a factor, it isn't always. Surprise, some fat people are comfortable with their weight! They love themselves! They're happy! There's just always that assumption that if you're overweight, you're unhappy or you're lazy or you're dumb. Even people you know and love can be downright belittling (and that sounds like it's a problem with your family consistently asking you about your exercise routine).

You know, as long as you're healthy and happy with yourself, the rest isn't as important (ask me about all the skinny miserable people I know).

It's shit.
It totally is :(

it really bugs me when people assume that someone who is overweight is trying to lose weight simply to look good. While, yeah, that could be a factor, it isn't always. Surprise, some fat people are comfortable with their weight! They love themselves! They're happy!
Word. And it gets me that people assume that if you're overweight you're ugly, or that everyone finds you ugly. Sure I don't date much, but that's more because I'm a hermit; when I do go out, I don't have any trouble finding guys, and nice guys that I find attractive. Like I said, I'm happy with my body, I just want to maintain what I have.

Even people you know and love can be downright belittling (and that sounds like it's a problem with your family consistently asking you about your exercise routine).
God, most of my family is overweight, and they really let it bother them, so they assume that it bothers me. They make it such a big part of their lives, my older sister made herself really *sick* with her dieting, and she was only about 140 to begin with.

ask me about all the skinny miserable people I know
Word, there's this huge fear of becoming fat in some people. There's one person on my flist (whom I love and admire greatly) who was having a freak out because she had gained weight and was now over 130 pounds. She was really letting it get to her (granted, it was affecting her job) but still. 130.

Yes. On my running list of Things I Wish I Could Make Other Professionals (And People) Understand is that fat does not always equal unhappy. People seem to understand pretty well that skinny does not always equal happy, but the flip side is taking a long time to catch on.

And I'm really sorry people are giving you a hard time about it. That sucks, big time. :(

Good luck with that. That's like trying to convince people money doesn't make you happy. You can say it as much as you want, but no one really believes it.

I think if it doesn't die down soon, I'll say something, because I would hate for this to go on long enough to get me to stop.

Argh I know just what you mean. I'd try to clarify that to them and tell them you don't want to talk about. I hate when my parents would mention anything about it as well especially because it's not their life so they should just leave me alone to my own choices. I completely agree about the lifestyle change and that it's better to take it slow and not worry about it anyways.

I hope you save enough to move out!

I had a subtle talk with my dad, I think things might get better from here. He's always been more quietly supportive, and I think he'll pass it on to my mom.

hate when my parents would mention anything about it as well especially because it's not their life so they should just leave me alone to my own choices.
The thing that's most annoying about it, is that my mom weighs just as much as I do. And she struggles with her weight, but she's all talk and no action. I'm the opposite. So it grates when she tries to talk about it, and philosophizes about it, but never really does anything to lose weight.
Mean while I never talk about it, but will occasionally work towards it. Or at the very least will work towards feeling healthier. It's funny, the time I lost the most amount of weight in my life, was when I was in China, and there was no one there talking to me about it. It just happened, because i was living a more active, healthy life, because that's what I wanted.

I hope you save enough to move out!
Well, I have enough that I could move out tomorrow if I had to, I just want to be on better financial terms when I do. Also, there are things I want to do, and it's messing with my time line.... Actually, one of the things I'm thinking about doing is going to the next Vividcon, would it be too nosy of me to ask you some questions about it (since you're the one who got me really interested in going :P) and maybe some general budget stuff?

Yeah my mom's similar in that she's not the best example. It's frustrating.

Yes, come to Vividcon!!! No, you can ask me anything about it :) I love to talk VVC.

Wow, that was a fast response! :)

Thanks for letting me ask. I'm assuming that it's fun from your experiences. I know the cons I've gone to in the past, I've enjoyed the fan panel aspect of it more than the meeting the celebrities part, so I thought I'd try and go to a a fan run con where I knew I'd be interested in the subject.
So, what are the panels like? Do you learn a lot about vidding while there? I really want to be able to take something back to my own vidding, since I've been in such a slump for so long :S

And I hate having to ask people about money stuff, but, how much do you end up paying for the hotel (are the prices listed on the site accurate? I ask, because the schedule linked on the navigation bar is to the 2006 schedule, and I'd hate to try and budget using out dated figures)? Do you have to pay for much once you're there (I realize that you have to buy food, and I'm sure there are things for sale, but are there aspects of the con you have to pay extra for? Like the party? Or any of the panels?)?

Umm, I think that's it for now, but please feel free to add anything that I might have forgot to ask...

And thanks so much!

Vividcon is SO MUCH FUN. Basically the panels have a moderator and they share vidding knowledge and/or ask questions from the audience. They're usually full of really interesting vidding stuff and different perspectives are always welcomed so you get to hear multiple points of views. I always learn a lot about vidding from little ways to bigger ones. Sometimes you need to see stuff demonstrated in action or just have a chat with someone that helps you. It's always inspiring too for vidding because there's so much information and excitement and creativity in the air. I had lots of vid idea type stuff sparked last year.

Well the prices are right, it should be about $108 or so per night but you can split it with your roommates. The tax may be a bit more. Everything is free but last year there was a $20 (maybe 10) price for a open bar. Food is often eaten at the Outback Steakhouse so you might want to plan for those meals and be sure to bring some money to buy any vidding DVDs you may want. There's not a lot of miscellaneous expenses unless you plan to do other stuff.

Really, if you love vids and would love to meet some vid lovers, it's the perfect con. I've had the time of my life on both occasions. And I would definitely recommend to try to submit a Premiere vid or at least Club Vivid while you're there. There's nothing like getting instantaneous feedback and being part of the show no matter how nervewracking it is. People are definitely really nice and welcoming for the most part, it's a great atmosphere. I just love it so much :)

Cool, because I really like vid meta, I just don't seek it out that often. I don't think I move in the vidding circles as much these days (probably because I haven't been vidding as much myself lately, although I have been working on an SGA one lately).
I'm hoping that actually going can help get me motivated again.

As for hotels and stuff, how many days do you stay? From what I can see they do stuff all day Friday and go pretty late on Sunday, do you show up on Thursday and leave on Monday?

Also, I see that registration starts tomorrow, how important is early sign ups? Do I have to make the decision now? Or will spots still be available if I wait a bit (I'm pretty sure I want to now, but since I'm going to be spending a whole lot of money today, I think I should wait a bit before talking about another big expense :P)
Also, it's taking place this year on my Mom's birthday, so that might require some sweet talking.

Ohh, this is so *exciting*. It totally makes me want to vid, but I can't :( This makes me sad. I keep thinking that I should use the rest of my day off today to do fannish things, but I won't be able to see anything.

Well I HIGHLY recommend you stay at least Thursday til Sunday and preferably until Monday because a lot of people stay and it's nice to be able to spend more time with everyone. Thursday is the best day for socializing though, it's much more relaxed.

Sign up EARLY! Yes, I'd definitely recommend it because I wouldn't trust the waitlist this year although in past years, most people have been able to get in. If you sign up tomorrow then you have three weeks to get your payment in before you get moved to the waitlist. It's definitely worth whatever you have to do IMO.

Vid in your head! You can at least listen to music.

Holy crap, I signed up yesterday, and am on the waiting list! Only spot 19, so I'm hoping I'll still be able to make it, but still, talk about a popular con!

How much of Thursday are you generally there for? Because I was thinking of trying to come in Thursday night (hopefully only leaving after work, I can't imagine that it would be a problem getting a direct flight to Chicago, or at least from Toronto to Chicago direct...)

I've started ripping more eps for the vid I'm thinking of, I can do that at least without staring at a computer for very long.

Man that sucks. I hope you still make it in!

On Thursday people usually start coming around 3 or so. Night is fine though.

Yay vid!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Probably TMI, but meh

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

Vividcon

Re: Vividcon

Re: Vividcon

Re: Vividcon

Re: Vividcon

Re: Vividcon