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Catching Up
So, in the spirit of Valentines day, I just did a massive defriending. I feel really, really bad about this, but most of the people I defriended hadn't updated in months, if not years. Mostly it was people who have abandoned their LJs, or have moved on to different fandoms and we never talk. I hardly ever lock anything, but if you were one of the people I defriended and you still read my journal, let me know, and I'll refriend you.
But since we're on the subject of defriending, I thought I'd make one of those statements, so, if you currently have me friended, bu feel we don't have that much in common anymore, please take this post as an invitation to defriend me.
Oh!
Completely unrelated, but I finally managed to get my hands on a copy of Midway, are people on my flist still missing it? It's hit the torrents and general eps comms, but if anyone is still missing it, I'd be happy to upload a copy of it.
But since we're on the subject of defriending, I thought I'd make one of those statements, so, if you currently have me friended, bu feel we don't have that much in common anymore, please take this post as an invitation to defriend me.
Oh!
Completely unrelated, but I finally managed to get my hands on a copy of Midway, are people on my flist still missing it? It's hit the torrents and general eps comms, but if anyone is still missing it, I'd be happy to upload a copy of it.
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*twiddles thumbs until they catch on fire*
I did a mass defriending two years ago, cutting a few that made me uncomforable but mostly people that rarely or never commented so I didn't figure they were even reading my journal anyway (I know filters are rather popular these days), and I was surprised at how many people got offended, even though I said I'd happily refriend anyone who had actually been following me. No one said they wanted back on, but several people left me really snippy comments before they defriended me back. People who had never left a single comment up to that point. I think people just don't like to be defriended, even by people they don't particularly like.
That said, if you ever defriend me there will be much wailing and rending of garments and rubbing of ashes into poorly shaven scalps.
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I thought for sure I had set it to upload last night, but I guess I fell asleep first. Anyways, I'm uploading it now, and it should be done in an hour and a half (hoping nothing goes wrong). Since I'll be at work at that time, I'll give you the link now, but don't download it until about 9 EST. Right click and save as
did a mass defriending two years ago, cutting a few that made me uncomforable
Oh, there were a lot that I defriended this time around that made me uncomfortable. I mean, it's always going to be hard to defriend someone you were once close to, but if they haven't updated in forever, I'm going to assume that they aren't reading my journal. And if they are updating, it's generally about completely different fandoms, which I tend to end up skimming over, and since I mostly talk about SGA, I'm sure they're skimming over me too. I would hate to think we're just getting in each others way, but won't defriend because we don't want to hurt the other person's feelings.
I did a defriending once before, and I was a little shocked at the number of people who left comments saying they were sad to see me go. No one was snippy, but a couple people were sad. It gave me panic attacks and made me want to refriend them post haste.
I actually was/am really worried about my "Feel free to defriend me if you've wanted to for a while now" comment, because there are some people whose journals I totally *love* reading, but whom I hardly ever leave comments at. Now I'm all worried they will defriend me.
That said, if you ever defriend me there will be much wailing and rending of garments and rubbing of ashes into poorly shaven scalps.
Oh yes, because you were *this* close to being defriended *rolls eyes*
Don't worry, you're safe... for now *doom*
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I made a "defriending amnesty post" in December(?), and was surprised that no one did. My journal isn't quite the same as it was before...I used to post nearly every day, with lots of fandom squee and photos, but the past year and half or so I've dropped way back on posting and my photography seems to be sliding downhill. I was sure there'd be a few people who would love the excuse to drop me, but no one did. Which just tells me that they probably filter my journal out of their read list and never saw the post to begin with. :P
I have a lot of people on my flist who I know have never actually read my journal, people like fic authors and photographers who friended me back so I could see their locked stuff, or who just like the symmetry (I have a person on my flist who's anal about his Friends list being the same number as his Friend Of list). I friended a bunch of SGA people when I decided having a separate fandom LJ was too much trouble, and very few of them friended me back, and of those I think only three actually read it.
What I hate is when there's someone on my flist who makes me uncomfortable, but I don't want to cut them in case there's drama. There is a person on my flist right now who is a leftover of my brief but intense immersion into the House fandom, and I really like her, but she's really good friends with someone who kind of screwed me over, and she often mentions this person in her post, and it just really bugs me to still have that reminder sitting on my flist. I want to defriend her but I don't want to hurt her feelings--we're not close anymore (she picked the other person to BFF, obviously) but I think she would still be upset. So, being the big puss that I am, just keep sucking up the twinges every time she posts.
...like you even cared about that. *eyeroll*
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You know, after waiting to get that ep all week, I *still* haven't watched it. I'm really not getting it that much earlier :P
I was sure there'd be a few people who would love the excuse to drop me, but no one did. Which just tells me that they probably filter my journal out of their read list and never saw the post to begin with. :P
Yeah, there are a few people I thought would drop me, but no one has yet. I really do think it's a case of them just not reading, or reading closely enough.
And yeah, I get the symmetry thing. I was like that for a while, I would friend anyone who friended me, and while I'll probably still do that (so you can get to know them) I finally let go and took some people off who probably won't unfriend me, because it looks like they've abandoned their journals.
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What you mentioned sounds like one of the issues I had about the person with whom I had the falling-out. I finally got to the point where I just said, yanno, LJ is supposed to be fun and it's not so I need to let the not-fun stuff go, so I defriended her, and she never said anything to me about it. She was probably happy to get rid of me. :P
Whether or not I friend them back depends on why they friended me in the first place. Right after I participated in the QaF darefic thing I had quite a few people friend me, but since I'd already decided I wasn't going to write fic anymore (if you read that fic, you'll see it's no great loss LOL), so unless we had other things in common, I didn't bother adding them back since they'd just be disappointed in my LJ anyway.